I'm going off the rails...

I can't decide what I want to purge first: my emotions or my weight issues - when I was thinking about what to post, both of them popped into my head together - yet as separate posts. I think I'll combine them for a fun whirl-wind ride on my crazy train. I don't want this to become a blog dedicated to weight-loss (how my last one ended up), nor do I want this to become anything but healing for me...however, I think this post is going to have to come up sometime or another.

I have been dealing with this idea of weight loss (seriously) for the last 2 years. I couldn't have stayed with W*W* as long as I did without J. When I reached my lifetime goal, I was so excited. I was also terrified that I wouldn't stick with it - and I didn't. You know what? I'm STILL here! I'm STILL OK, I'm STILL me... I liked my weight then...I like it now too, for different reasons...It isn't even about the weight - 15 pounds. It's about how I feel (can I just say - my least favorite cliche ever?) This weight issue will never end - I just wish it wasn't so.much.work.

So what is it about? Glad you asked - Dealing with this life has been such a gift. So many lessons to learn, choices to make, etc...I've done things I didn't think I could do - over and over! Why do I consistently over-think things? Every time I make a "plan" the universe laughs at me...and tips me upside down again. So, I'm re-learning my thinking - I'll take a deep breath, make a plan, tear up the plan, and dive in where I need to go. That has worked wonders on the school thing, parenting, and the apartment. I need to practice a little harder at letting go on this relationship thing.

My plan:

• To stay single for the summer and itemize all the wonders that are me!
• To really look at why I want the people I want
• To let go - and dive in...